First of all, I'm sorry, everyone.

I mentioned this to Kojac in one of my comments to his journal, but I've recently learned something about myself.

I'm sorry to all of you, especially all of you who may feel I am avoiding/ignoring you. I've found that sometimes I just need to withdraw. It's like the very freindships I crave intimidate me, or something. I still get anxious, and I have been hesitant to log into my gmail because I'm just feeling so anxious about it.

No one, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, has done anything to put me off, I'm just in a strange phase. I hope/feel like I might be coming out of it.

I'm REALLY sorry to everyone, but especially sorry to my brother and my mom,(even though she would never be able to read this- she hates computers, I think.) because I haven't called since Christmas. I feel really bad, but every time I think about calling I get so anxious and I'm not exactly sure why.

Timmy, if you're reading, please let mom I'll call her soon, that I'm sorry, I've just felt kind of overwhelmed lately. I hope everything is okay, and I have been worried sick about Cindy and Gary and Brandy, but I just get so damn anxious when I think about calling. I'll be fine, I think I am just feeling overwhelmed by work and other things. I REALLY want to come up next weekend, but I might not be able to... I was forced to pay my Sirius bill and that ate up my whole check. (I didn't want them to turn it off and make her ever more worried)

One reason I didn't call after Christmas was because I got a lung infection, nearly lost my voice and I didn't want mom to worry about me. I'm fine now, I have my health insurance and everything is okay. I thought I wasn't worried about my health but I think that's why I've been anxious... I thought I was relaxed about things but I'm not sure now.

I love you very very very much, and I'm really sorry.
I know that Seddel Tundra, Ark, Corbenik, and everybody have been worried about me, but I promise I'm okay, I'm just going through a social anxiety phase. I promise it's temporary, and I'll be back on FA, Furtopia, Meadows and all that stuff soon.